Our New Plan

Well today we met with our doctor and talked about the fact that my testosterone didn't come down to where it really needed to be. My doctor said we had two options. Our first option was to take another month off and continue the Spironolact to bring my testosterone levels even more. Our second option was to start Clomid and Dexamethasone. I didn't even think about it. I knew if I chose to keep taking Spironolact and take another month off from TTC I would burst into tears in the doctors office. I know he has probably seem this a million times over but I just couldn't do it. Part of it was that I wasn't willing to take another month off. Dexamethasone is a corticosteriod and should help with my testosterone levels some. This fact and the fact that my testosterone serum came down significantly helped me make my decision.

So our new plan is that today I started taking my Provera. I take Provera once a day for five days and within a week my period should start. On CD 3 (3rd day of my period) I start taking both the Clomid and the dexamethasone. Clomid is supposed to help my body ovulate. The Dexamethasone will combat the elevated testosterone and help the Clomid work. The problem with having elevated testosterone is it works against the Clomid which can cause it to not work. If this plan doesn't work my doctor says we only have 2 options - injectables or another break cycle back on Spironolact. I told him I wanted to go ahead and try a medicated cycle and if if didn't work I would go back on the Spironolact.

Just admitting this last part made me tear up in the exam room. I almost lost it which is a first for me especially at the doctors office. I have teared up before but this time I really thought I was going to lose it and just burst into tears. I kept it together until my doctor left. Then I started crying. We walked out of the exam room and and my doctor and two nurses are standing there. I felt really silly crying but I was genuinely upset about the fact that my testosterone didn't normalize completely. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be but it still wasn't easy to here. I am really hoping this works although I am trying not to get my hopes up too high. That way if it doesn't work I am not left crashing down...which will still probably happen even if I try to stay level and rational about it.

Devastated

I decided to take a week to process the news we got about my labs on Thursday the 12 of September. If you've been keeping up with us you know I've been taking Spironolact to lower my testosterone levels; elevated levels are a symptom of pcos. Testosterone labs take about 2 - 3 days to come back. Since my appointment was on a Thursday we didn't actually get my results until the 16th.

The nurse called from my doctor's office and told me my testosterone levels did no come down to where they needed to be. I was devastated. There really is no other way to put it. I was sincerely devastated. I truly believed they were going to come down. My doctor had said most women have success with their levels coming down in one month. Obviously I am not one of those women. I just didn't know what to think. I got my hopes up so high about my results. I thought to myself my doctor said most women's levels come down. I don't have a lot of symptoms from pcos and elevated testosterone. All of these things pushed my hopes a little higher.

 I recently got a job. I've been unemployed since we relocated. I was so excited about it. I had actually started training on the 16th when I got my results. When I got the results I was sitting in John's office at work. I had gone to see him after my first day to tell him how it went. He had just left the office to check on something when my phone rang and I got the news. John came back and I didn't tell him. I was in shock and pissed and an emotional wreck. I just didn't know what to say or think. He was having kind of a rough day and I didn't want to add to it.

We finally came home and I kind of snapped at him because I had just gotten so angry over my results. So I laid in bed and was going to take a small nap just to have time to myself. John hadn't asked if I got my results and because I was already mad that made me even more mad. So I text him...yes I text my  husband who was one room away and said "You didn't ask about my labs." Being the amazing man that he is he immediately came to our room and said "You looked upset and I decided I was going to ask later to let you calm down." That made me feel really bad because it just kind of rubbed in that I had taken my anger out on him. I told him about it and it just washed over me like you wouldn't believe. I had already been crying but I started crying even harder when I told John. Partly because I was upset and mad but also because I knew John would be disappointed and that made me feel even worse - even though it wasn't disappointment in me but merely the results.

He is always amazing when I have a melt down about our IF trials. He snuggled up to me and just held me close and let me cry. After a little bit he said that everything was going to be okay and that we had to start somewhere. Sometimes his ability to stay positive through this amazes me. We've been actively trying to have a family for almost 2 years now. After so long it is very hard to be positive. Now we are waiting for our appointment on Monday, September 23rd. This appointment is so that we can talk with our doctor and see what our next step is. Are we going to take another month to lower the elevated levels or are we going to start IF meds.

I guess we will see.

It has been a while

To catch everyone back up I talked to my doctor about my elevated testosterone levels on Aug 15. He said we could do Clomid or we could address the issue and lower the testosterone. I decided to go ahead and put us on a month break and take the time to lower my testosterone. We have already done 3 rounds of Clomid and obviously none of them were a success. My doctor explained that elevated testosterone can basically work against the IF meds and cause them not to work. This and our previous Clomid attemps are what made me decide to take a break. It was really rough because I wanted to get going and start medicated cycles again. I know this is a step forward but it is still hard to accept being on break.

I started my Spironolact Aug 15th as well. So I have now been on it for 10 days. The side effects have worn off which is very nice. It can cause dizziness which I didn't have a problem with. I was on a blood pressure medicine before to help with my migraines; however this one also has a minor diuretic in it. Yay me. For about the first week it was upsetting my stomach but I think my body has finally gotten use to it now. My alkaline levels were also elevated. This has to do with the liver and gallbladder. When we draw my labs on Sept 12th they are going to check my alkaline levels again. If they are elevated then my doctor says we will probably do an u/s to see if I have gallstones and if I do I may have to get my gallbladder removed. Well, he said if I don't have pain it should be fine but if i do it needs to be taken out. I don't have pains there. I will keep it in there as long as possible!

Passing the time seems to be pretty easy except for when my mind decides to go into overdrive about my gallbladder. When I get bored I play with names - yes this is what I do in my spare time. We have our girl names pretty set (I think). First choice girls name is Alexandra Charlene. It is powerful but feminine and it honors my Grandma Charlene which was really important to me. If we have another girl we are thinking about Ophelia Kathryn. Of course Ophelia is a character from Hamlet but I don't really care about that. I just love the name. It is so girly and uncommon. We haven't decided for a boy. We obviously have plenty of time to decide.

Other than that nothing else it really new. I am working on seeing if I can build up a photography business even if it is mainly as a hobby. I actually am going to be shooting a wedding in October and I am sooooo excited! I guess we will see how it all goes.

Maybe things are looking up

We got the results from DH's second SA. The doctor said it was much better - thank goodness. Better volume and count. This is amazingly great news! This means DH does not have to see a urologist. He was happy about it. I know he was stressing about it really bad. I think he was worried that he was going to be adding a new problem to what we are already battling.

I went in on Tuesday, August 6th to take my pregnancy test at the doctors office. Of course it came back negative. They prescribed my Provera to start AF. I wake up at 7:30 (roughly) every morning to take my basal body temperature. I noticed that it spiked yesterday - it went up 1.2 degrees. This doesn't sound like much but it is a pretty big deal. I also took an ovulation test and I got the darkest line I have ever gotten so far. I contacted my doctor and explained what I had observed and then I asked what I needed to do. I wasn't sure if I needed to continue my Provera or wait and see if I do ovulate on my own this cycle.

                                                                                    

 

The nurse said I needed to stop taking my Provera and continue checking ovulation. We are going to wait a couple of days to see what happens. The site I use to check all of this is fertility friend. It keep track of the medications I am taking, BBT, ovulation test results, and even gives a prediction of when ovulation will occur based on previous cycles. Right now the site says that based on previous cycles I should theoretically ovulate Saturday, Sunday, or Monday. So I am going to continue to check ovulation and hopefully go in next week and do some blood work to check my Progesterone levels. This will show whether or not I have ovulated. If not I will continue to take my Provera and wait for the next cycle. So I told DH about the new plan to stop the Provera and keep testing ovulation. I looked at him and asked him if he knew what that meant. He of course said what - so I told him we needed to have sex the next couple of days. He asked if needed to do every other day of course I said no. So he looks at me all serious like and says "So basically we've already sent in the army (BD yesterday) and now we are just going to keep sending in reinforcements in hopes that we win? You know all the reinforcements we can get...the more the better." It cracked me up. I was like that is exactly right babe.Aside from this we are waiting for my appointment on August 15th. This appointment is to talk to my doctor about what our plan is going to be in regards to getting my testosterone levels where they need to be. Hopefully he will have good news. 

Oh labs you kill me...

My doctors office called this morning about my labs. The nurse said that my metabolic panel looked good (diabetes test) and my cholesterol test looked good as well. She did say my testosterone levels were a little high. My doctor wants me to come in and talk to him about the results which is more than fine with me. I asked if they could get me in today and they couldn't because they closed at noon. My doctor is going to be out all next week with the exception for one surgery. So the earliest they could get me in was on Aug. 11 - 9 days away.

I am bummed that my testosterone levels are high because this means we will have to wait to start IF meds for about a month while I get them in check. I am bummed because I have to wait 9 days for my appointment. I do not do well with waiting for appointments especially these. I am glad though that my doctor decided to check this. The RE (fertility specialist) we went to didn't even check this. So it gives me a lot of faith that my doctor knows what he is doing. Who knows how long my testosterone levels have been high. They could have been high when my old doctor put me on Provera + Clomid; which means I would have wasted those cycles because higher testosterone fights the IF meds.

So this is where we are at right now. Aug 4th we will drop of DH's SA at the lab. The next day we should hear back on his results. If everything is not where it needs to be then he will be sent to a urologist. If everything is where it needs to be then he is good to go! Aug 6th I go in to take a pregnancy test. If it comes back negative then I get my prescription for Provera which will start my period. Then finally on Aug 11th I have my appointment to talk about my elevated testosterone levels. My doctor said at my last appointment that if they were elevated we would take a month to get them back to normal. So I will get a prescription for that.

So even though I got my lab results I still feel like I'm in limbo and it isn't fun.

First SA Results

We dropped of DH's SA sample to the lab yesterday. I hadn't gotten around to calling the doctors office to tell them yet and I get a call. It's the doctors office and they have the results. I was very surprised! They didn't tell us how long it would take for his results so I didn't really know what to expect! Obviously not long at all! 

They said his count and volume were both low. My doctor wants him to go ahead and do another SA to make sure he wasn't just having an off day. Although they did say he had good motility and health - basically even though volume and count was low what was there was alive and kickin'. To make sure he has plenty of time to build his count back up we are abstaining from sex until Sunday at the earliest. DH will turn in his second sample on Sunday; which will give him 5 days. This way the results will be ready for the doctors office when they open on Monday. 

I was looking at it and the timing is perfect. My doctor wanted me to come in on CD 30 to take a pregnancy test. If I am not pregnant then I will start Provera. Provera will then start AF. My blood work results will determine whether we start IF treatments or not. If my testosterone levels are high (which can be the case in women with POCS) then we will take another month off and try to get my testosterone levels in check. My doctor said it usually only takes about a month and then they go back to normal. I would take a medication for this. Once my testosterone levels are in check I will then start If medications. If my insulin is acting up with will move forward with Metformin + Clomid. If my testosterone is normal then this will be where we start in general. If everything they are testing is normal then I don't know where we will start. We didn't talk about this option. If DH's second SA results come back and are still not where they need to be he will have to go see a urologist; which would mean we would take time off until he gets his count and volume back up. 

I feel kind of bad for him. This whole time we have known that I have PCOS and so it was my fault (for lack of a better way of saying it) that we weren't getting pregnant. Now the doctor is finally looking at him too in order to make sure we address all problems and don't waste any time. He was so nervous yesterday when we were talking about his SA and it broke my heart today when I told him the results. I know we will make it through this regardless. He has been amazing throughout this journey so far. He has been there when I just needed to cry or vent. He has been there when I was having really bad days. I will be there for him if he needs me. He is my everything and I love him a million.

Here's to hoping the second SA comes back good. No, better than good. Here's to hoping it comes back GREAT!

Things are looking up!

Well I made an appointment with my doctor for yesterday only to have to reschedule it for today. We got in yesterday and the receptionist told me my doctor had to run to the hospital to deliver a baby and to come back in about an hour. No big deal I didn't have any other plans for the day and DH took the rest of the day off. Plus I absolutely did not want to reschedule because I had been waiting for this appointment for about a month. We came back in an hour went back to the room did the usual (weight, blood pressure, and health questions) and finally the nurse says "Okay, the doctor will be in shortly he will talk to you and then do your exam (I was also doing my annual - unfortunately)." While we were waiting DH and I are looking around the room and he asks "Do you think those lights work?" I kind of laughed and said it was in case ladies/couples wanted some ambiance lighting during their appointment. I thought it was pretty fun and it definitely helped lighten the mood. I had been stressing out about this appointment for about a week.

About 10 minutes later my doctor came in hurriedly apologized because the baby he has just delivered wasn't doing well and he had to leave to go make sure it was okay and see what was going on. While I was disappointed we were going to have to reschedule I did understand. Considering we were going to talk to him about picking back up IF treatment it was heart warming to know he is very attentive. So we ended up having to reschedule anyway. Luckily they got us in today pretty early in the morning and DH had the day off. Thankfully it worked out perfectly.

We talked to my doctor about what testing we had done and the diagnosis and such. Went through everything. He decided he wanted to do an u/s to make sure and see for himself that I do in fact have PCOS. I have done this 3 times now and I must say it doesn't get any more fun or less awkward. Even though I know he does this on a regular basis anyone I don't know around my vagina is an uncomfortable feeling. I guess that is a good thing. When we got done he went over what PCOS is and what happens in the ovaries in someone with PCOS. I learned a lot and I appreciated that he wanted me to know everything that was going on in my body. Both of my other doctors have never really taken the time to actually explain it to me in depth. Just more of a here is your diagnosis, here is your treatment, see you later. It was very refreshing and a nice change! We talked about the blood tests that my RE had done. He mentioned he did not test my testosterone (which is sometimes higher in ladies with PCOS), cholesterol, and a diabetes test - all checked through blood work.

He wanted to go ahead and check these to determine what our treatment plan would be. If my testosterone is high then we need to get it back to normal. If I am having problems with my insulin then they will put me on Metformin + Clomid. Either way we have to wait for the labs to come back. I was very good. I sat down in the chair and didn't even have tears well up. This is a big deal for me. I hate needles. I know what you're thinking you hate needles and you are trying to get pregnant? Sometimes you get over things because something else is more important; which is how I feel about having children. The nurse said it would take about 3 days for my labs to come back. DH also has to do a SA. We got home and I think the nerves finally started to kick in. All this time we have been trying we have known that I had an issue that was holding us back. I think he is nervous about finding out the results of his test because what if he does have an issue. He did just fine though. We turned it in today. The doctor said it had to be 48 hours since the last time we had sex. While we did have sex on Sunday it was early enough that he could go ahead and do his SA today; which I was excited about. Because I just want him to get it done so we can figure out the results. The nice thing is if he does have an issue it is usually just a simple medication fix.

So now we wait. This will be the longest three days of my life. Hoping it will be okay and we can start treatment back up soon.